Diablo 3: Not-So-Inner Monologuing

I've learned.... I talk to myself out loud a lot if I'm gaming by myself. It's like my inner monologue just can't contain itself. And since there's no one around watching me there's no conscious shut-off valve. I've never really noticed it before because it doesn't happen quite as bad with platform games. But ooooh.... my venture into Diablo 3 has made it so much worse.

While I've played Guild Wars & LOTRO before, I never really got past level 12 in either of them, meaning I never played much at all. So this is really the first time I've tried to take on a boss by myself or major quests, etc. It's really fun (and no guilt monkeys because it's Neal's game! hurrah!). But the first time I ventured out by myself into the world of Diablo I was pretty convinced I was going to die around every corner. So phrases like "DON'T DIE! DON'T DIE! DON'T DIE!" and "DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!" were spilling out at almost every.single.enemy.

I think that's pretty much how playing Mega Man must have sounded too.

And then I realized: Hey! I didn't die! Hey! He died really easy! So you would think that would cut down on the chatter. But it hasn't.

So expelling those previous two mentioned (since they actually are the most common, but I've spoiled them), I give you:

Top 5 (Mostly) Most Used Phrases During Diablo 3:

5) "STOP SHOOTING HIM."
Out of a paranoia that something is about to kill me or is not completely dead yet I have a tendency to shoot anything that moves, including fellow party members. Thankfully, it doesn't actually harm friends, but it does make me irritated at myself when I realize I've been shooting the wrong thing. Especially when something actually is attacking me from behind.

4) "NO!"
While it may come out "NO!" I can assure you a couple times its felt more like this:


It usually means I've just died.

Which leads into.....
3) "PLEASE be a checkpoint."
Before I realized that completing a quest was when a checkpoint (essentially: save point) automatically occurred, I kept waiting for them to occur randomly. And I kept hoping for one about every five minutes. There's another popular variation of this that goes "AH! Where was my last checkpoint?!"

2) "HEAL, stupid, HEAL!"
I'm currently fighting the Butcher and have so far failed (don't judge me!). Unfortunately, I'm still button mashing at times and it'll accept one button over another and I WON'T HEAL. GAH. HEAL. HEEEEAL. I KNOW YOU'RE HURT. STOP TELLING ME.

1) "MOOOOVE!"
This is a real problem. 
My character has a real tendency to stand right next to deadly enemies, which is unfortunate since she's a Wizard and is therefore squishy. Despite the fact that I actually like to battle by standing far away and electrocuting things, I apparently haven't gotten complete understanding of.....something yet. Because somehow I always end up right in the way. Get out of the way. MOVE, Annama, MOVE! Or just....yes, die. Sigh. Checkpoint please.

Honorable Mention:
"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"
A variation of "DON'T DIE! DON'T DIE! DON'T DIE!" and therefore not up for top 5, but popular nonetheless.