Stories from Work

I have no idea if these will come across as amusing on paper as they did in person, but I still want to record them for me.

These two hysterical guys come in, probably about 18 & 20 years old.

Guy 1: "I need to buy a rose. Maybe one to put in my teeth."
Me: "Oh, okay, do you have a specific color in mind?"
Guy 1: "I'm not actually going to put it in my mouth."
Me: "Alright, well, do you have a specific color in mind?"
Guy 2: "I'm thinking about buying a rose too! For my ex girlfriend."
G1: "Dude, don't cry on me again."
G2: "I'm not gonna cry! Do you think I should buy a rose? Do you think I should?"
Me: "I have no idea, I have no idea what your relationship was."
G1: "Dude, you're gonna cry. Don't do it man, don't do it!"
G2: "I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna buy her a rose!"
G1: "Fine. I just want a red one."
G2: "Should I do it? Should I buy a rose?"
Me: "Well, if you would like to, again, I'm not sure what happened...."
G2: "Well, see, it was sort of both our faults. Can I just tell you the story?"
Me: "Sure...."
G1: "Dude. Don't cry."
G2: "I'm not gonna cry! Should I get pink or white? What do they mean?"
Me: "Well, traditionally pink will mean like a first love, or that you really like someone. White usually stands for innocence."
G2: "Innocence? What does that mean?"
G1: "Like virginity, man!"
G2: "Do I want that one then?!?!"
Me (trying to keep it all together): "I don't know! I don't know the context of your relationship. It also stands for purity."
G1: "Oh, purity. I'm sorry. That's a much better way of saying it."
Me: "You're safe with pink or white."
(ten minutes later)
G1: "Dude. We have to go. I'm gonna be late! Stop filling out that card!"
G2: "No! I have to get it right!"
G1: "It doesn't even matter! Girls never read the card!"
G2: "Do girls read the card?"
Me: "Yes, actually, that's---"
G2: "Aha! See! Girls read the card!"
G1: "No, they don't, she's lying to you! Get in the car! Finish it in the car!"

Different scenario.
Guy: "So. I need to buy a rose."
Me: "Alright, did you have a specific color in mind?"
Guy: "Um.... I mean, I know there's red, but...which one stands for 'I made a mistake.'"
Me: "Oh, well (listing off several colors.....)"
Guy: "Which one?"
Me: "Well, it sounds like you didn't want red, since it traditionally stands for love--"
Guy: "But I do love her!"
Me: "Oh! Oh, I'm sorry sir, I misunderstood! Red, pink or white. Red, pink or white will be fine. 

Aaaand for the finale I would have never believed this following conversation actually happened if it hadn't actually happened to me. This morning. 
While calling to congratulate winners from our recent open house.  (Names changed to protect the ....innocent?)
Me: "Hi, is this Jason?"
Guy: "No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry! I'll -"
Guy: "But I'm glad you called the wrong number."
Me: "Oh, I uh...."
(silence)
Guy: "My name's Michael!"
(silence)
Me: "Oh, uh, hi Michael.... Um...."
(silence)
Me: "Alright, I'm sorry I called the wrong number! Goodbye, have a nice day!"

(And since I've been asked, no, I did not try to redial the phone number. I made someone else call later. Just in case.)

When You're Being Watched.

So. Today our observers came. Apparently the whole thing was legit! Who knew, right? These representatives actually did come just to our shop out of the all the shops in the state to observe us! (My conspiracy theories still make more sense. Nonetheless, legit.) Apparently, the combination of our being 1) recommended by our representative 2) a shop over a century old and 3) large enough to have a ton of standing orders with them was enough.
That's actually pretty cool when I think about it.

So when I arrived back from lunch there were about ten of them and this frenzied energy had taken over the shop and it remained that way until they left. They were constantly firing questions running the gambit from what product of theirs came in, what it looked like, was it consistent, what could be fixed, how can work best with us, etc. etc. Thankfully, my bosses had them the bulk of the time, although eventually they wandered back to our desks and suddenly four of them were asking me questions and watching me design like a hawk.
But we weren't that busy today, so there was little for them to observe and they left early with a vacuum of energy in their wake. And I was socially weary.

Meanwhile, after this occurred, Fat Rick called. And Fat Rick is my bosses' buddy and loves to tease the girls at the shop and make us fall for pranks in fun and I'm gullible. So he calls and asks if his fifty dozen roses are ready for pick up. And after a short conversation, I just stuck him on hold.
"Is it Fat Rick?"
"I have no idea. I think so."
"You didn't ask?"
"No."
"You just put him on hold?"
"Yes."

And it was Rick. Haha, Rick. Haha. An hour later I went to wait on a man who just walked in, "Hi, I'm Rick and I'm here to pick up my roses."
And thinking it was Fat Rick I was this close to forming a less-than-amused response, or decide whether to just jump into him when I checked myself.
"What's your name again?"
He told me. It was not the same Rick. He was picking up a dozen roses. Which I had made myself, earlier in the day and No problem sir, be right back.
Rick. You're going to get me in trouble one of these days.

Now you may think it should be easy to determine the legit calls from the prank calls. But that's not true. Today alone I received a call from a lady asking if we could make a prune bouquet. And as I scrambled onto the internet, thinking this must be some term I was just unfamiliar with...
I'm sorry, I've actually never heard of that.
Oh, you know, a bouquet of prunes...
....
True story.
So no. Sometimes the strangest requests are actually the most serious. :)

I've actually had a request for some photos of work I've done at the shop... which means I lied and you're actually going to have to see some more flower photos soon. :)