Stories from Work

I have no idea if these will come across as amusing on paper as they did in person, but I still want to record them for me.

These two hysterical guys come in, probably about 18 & 20 years old.

Guy 1: "I need to buy a rose. Maybe one to put in my teeth."
Me: "Oh, okay, do you have a specific color in mind?"
Guy 1: "I'm not actually going to put it in my mouth."
Me: "Alright, well, do you have a specific color in mind?"
Guy 2: "I'm thinking about buying a rose too! For my ex girlfriend."
G1: "Dude, don't cry on me again."
G2: "I'm not gonna cry! Do you think I should buy a rose? Do you think I should?"
Me: "I have no idea, I have no idea what your relationship was."
G1: "Dude, you're gonna cry. Don't do it man, don't do it!"
G2: "I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna buy her a rose!"
G1: "Fine. I just want a red one."
G2: "Should I do it? Should I buy a rose?"
Me: "Well, if you would like to, again, I'm not sure what happened...."
G2: "Well, see, it was sort of both our faults. Can I just tell you the story?"
Me: "Sure...."
G1: "Dude. Don't cry."
G2: "I'm not gonna cry! Should I get pink or white? What do they mean?"
Me: "Well, traditionally pink will mean like a first love, or that you really like someone. White usually stands for innocence."
G2: "Innocence? What does that mean?"
G1: "Like virginity, man!"
G2: "Do I want that one then?!?!"
Me (trying to keep it all together): "I don't know! I don't know the context of your relationship. It also stands for purity."
G1: "Oh, purity. I'm sorry. That's a much better way of saying it."
Me: "You're safe with pink or white."
(ten minutes later)
G1: "Dude. We have to go. I'm gonna be late! Stop filling out that card!"
G2: "No! I have to get it right!"
G1: "It doesn't even matter! Girls never read the card!"
G2: "Do girls read the card?"
Me: "Yes, actually, that's---"
G2: "Aha! See! Girls read the card!"
G1: "No, they don't, she's lying to you! Get in the car! Finish it in the car!"

Different scenario.
Guy: "So. I need to buy a rose."
Me: "Alright, did you have a specific color in mind?"
Guy: "Um.... I mean, I know there's red, but...which one stands for 'I made a mistake.'"
Me: "Oh, well (listing off several colors.....)"
Guy: "Which one?"
Me: "Well, it sounds like you didn't want red, since it traditionally stands for love--"
Guy: "But I do love her!"
Me: "Oh! Oh, I'm sorry sir, I misunderstood! Red, pink or white. Red, pink or white will be fine. 

Aaaand for the finale I would have never believed this following conversation actually happened if it hadn't actually happened to me. This morning. 
While calling to congratulate winners from our recent open house.  (Names changed to protect the ....innocent?)
Me: "Hi, is this Jason?"
Guy: "No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry! I'll -"
Guy: "But I'm glad you called the wrong number."
Me: "Oh, I uh...."
(silence)
Guy: "My name's Michael!"
(silence)
Me: "Oh, uh, hi Michael.... Um...."
(silence)
Me: "Alright, I'm sorry I called the wrong number! Goodbye, have a nice day!"

(And since I've been asked, no, I did not try to redial the phone number. I made someone else call later. Just in case.)

Work Week Stories

On Saturday I spent the day as Parking Lot Enforcer since there was a garage sale next door to the shop and every.single.parking space was taken by shoppers. Considering it was also prom and we had lots of corsages for pickup we had to encourage them to park elsewhere. But after they continued to ignore our signs and fill our lot we finally started taking turns chasing them down and telling them to park elsewhere. Sometimes even chasing them down all the way until they were already at the garage sale.

On Monday morning we drove up to find a lady throwing all of our trash out of our dumpster and going through it looking for petals to make potpourri out of. Her pupils were incredibly tiny, and she stayed out there an hour despite our warnings to leave and she left her car running the entire time she was out there.

On Tuesday a man came in without his shirt in. Which I guess might have been slightly less weird except he brought in in with him and decided to put it on ....at the cash register?

On Wednesday in the middle of a man's explaining very excitedly about his upcoming date, he also decided to throw out there how long it had been since he had "been with a woman."

....

THIS IS NOT RELEVANT TO YOUR FLOWER ORDER, SIR. I PROMISE YOU. I DON'T NEED TO KNOW.

Today I arrived, feeling pretty good on a few hours of sleep, and then suddenly realized my shirt was inside out. In my defense, at least I only had it on that way for an hour? Eh? Eh?

It's okay. It's Friday tomorrow. It'll all be over soon. :)

(Although I do work this Saturday too....eek.....)

'Crazy Love' Excerpt

Recently, I finished reading a book entitled Crazy Love that I had received for Christmas and have been reading on and off throughout the year. It's a great book and very challenging for me if I'll keep taking it to heart. While there are certainly stories strewn all throughout the book, there is one chapter specifically dedicated to others personal accounts of Christ in their lives. They were all fascinating, but this one was my favorite and I wanted to share it.


Jamie Lang
When Jamie was twenty-three years old, she flew from the United States to Tanzania with $2,000 from her savings account. She planned to stay until she ran out of money, at which point she would come home.

Jamie was overwhelmed by all of the need that she encountered, so she started praying that God would allow her to make a radical difference in one person's life. After about six months, she met an eight-year-old girl at church who was carrying a baby on her back. Jamie learned that the baby's mother was dying from AIDS and that she was too weak to care for him. Jamie begin to buy formula for the little boy, Junio, to provide him with the nutrition he desperately needed. At the time, he was half the size of a healthy baby.

Jamie fell in love with baby Junio. She wondered if she was being foolish - a barely twenty-four-year old, single, white American entertaining thoughts of adopting a baby. Besides, she didn't even know if Tanzania allowed international adoptions. Eventually, she discovered that the country didn't allow international adoptions; however, because she had lived there for over six months, she could establish residency.

Before Junio's mom died from AIDS, she came to Junio and said, "I have heard how you are taking care of my son, and I have never known such a love. I want to be saved." Just before she died, she said, "I know that my son is taken care of, and I will see him in heaven someday."
Jamie spent six months going through the adoption process and then five more months working with the American embassy to get Junio a visa. When she finally came home, she had been gone for a year and a half.

Junio is now five years old, totally healthy and HIV negative. When Junio's mom was pregnant with him, she took a "morning-after pill" late in her pregnancy in order to abort him. But instead it induced premature labor, and because Junio was so small, no bleeding occurred during his birth. Thus, he did not contract HIV from his mother. What was intended to end his life, God used to save it. Since adopting Junio, Jamie has gotten married, had a little girl, and is moving back to Tanzania with her family to work with Wycliffe to translate the Bible for a group that has never heard it before.

          - from the chapter "Who Really Lives That Way?" (p 152-153)


Speaking of crazy love, I know of a teenage girl that's been really struggling with her health - she has very recently undergone very major heart surgery and her & her family are still having to take it very carefully day by day. All my information is third or fourth hand, but could you send up a short prayer for her & her family? She's only 14 and was very frightened. I know any would be greatly appreciated.